Turkey tantrums

The Christmas turkey. Does anything in the culinary calendar cause as much stress as that one, great big bird? Will it be cooked? Will it be dry? How on earth am I going to get the bl*^dy thing in the oven?!

Well worry not. The British Turkey Federation feel our pain, and have created two very handy lifelines over Christmas. One is a text service , the other is a telephone helpline and both are open right up to Christmas eve. In fact, the text service runs 24 hours so if you wake up in a cold sweat, there’s someone to help…

The text service is on 64446. Text them the weight of your bird in kilos and you’ll get an instant message back telling you the cooking time and how many people it will feed. Not bad for the price of a text message!

The helpline, which is available til 5pm on Christmas eve, is manned by turkey cooking experts (yes, they exist!) who will help you with the smallest query, right down to a step by step timeplan. Call 0800 783 9994. There’s also the British turkey website to visit which contains a rather handy defrost and cooking time calculator. 

So Merry Christmas and happy eating everyone! I hope it’s a jolly one, and boo sucks to the health police! We’ve all got January to atone for our sins.

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