I’ve just come back from a very, VERY disappointing lunch, and decided to have a little rant about it.
What is it about mid-range British restaurants?! The ‘eatery’ (I can’t bring myself to call it a restaurant) that my colleagues and I just got back from (under our offices, FYI), is one of the worst offenders. A dauntingly big menu set off alarm bells immediately, as did the fact they’d run out of the first three things I ordered. 4th choice was a platter of roasted squash, red onion and goat’s cheese and my friend plumped for fish pie – one of the most offensive versions of this beloved dish I’ve had the misfortune to come across. It had been sitting in the dish so long the outside had gone black, and was covered with the sort of cheese you usually only find on a fast food burger (still in its pre-sliced strips, no less.)
However, worse was yet to come. After rooting around for a good five minutes, my friend finally found the fish. That is, she found what appeared to be a whole can of tuna that had been dumped unceremoniously in the middle. Tinned tuna? In a fish pie?! If this is what the British public deems acceptable I’m hanging up my apron.
Mine was almost as bad. Rather than the bountiful platter of lovingly roasted veg I’d been looking forward to, what appeared was some teeny tiny pieces of squash, coated to suffocation in inexplicably tasteless oil and half-heartedly chucked together with a bit of mouldy old goats’ cheese and some raw red onion. How appealing.
So did we complain?, I hear you say…The answer, of course, is no. We’re English. As a nation we will sit and put up with bad service, bad food and bad wine with a beatific smile of gratitude on our faces. The only thing we won’t put up with, is bad manners. Fortunately, our waiter looked a little like Joe from X –Factor, so naturally we couldn’t think badly of him at all.
I would welcome similar food rants about gastric atrocities near you. Shall we name and shame?!